Tech Event Bingo

All 128 squares

Every card is 12 from the first list, 12 from the second, and one free space.

Probably happening

Plausible. Some of these are already in progress.

  • AWS us-east-1 goes down
  • Cloudflare outage breaks the web
  • Apple drops another port
  • Google kills another product
  • Microsoft renames Copilot again
  • Nvidia sets market cap record
  • Startup rebrands as 'AI lab'
  • Another 'year of Linux desktop'
  • Rust rewrite announced
  • Meta launches another headset
  • Robotaxi launch delayed again
  • OpenAI model names get weirder
  • Keynote demo fails live
  • Viral cloud bill horror story
  • Layoffs blamed on AI efficiency
  • Unicorn takes a down round
  • EU fines Apple again
  • Copilot price hike
  • Someone rewrites it in Go
  • React adds feature nobody asked for
  • Python 2 found in production
  • Log4j-style CVE panic
  • VC declares 'AI winter' on X
  • Sam Altman tweets cryptically
  • Elon promises FSD 'next year'
  • Crypto exchange gets hacked
  • Bitcoin hits new all-time high
  • Slack goes down on a Monday
  • Someone says 'agentic workflows'
  • 'We're hiring' post after layoffs
  • Apple Intelligence delayed again
  • Anthropic ships during Google I/O
  • Free tier quietly removed
  • Chrome delays cookie death again
  • Windows update breaks printers
  • AI startup acquihired by big tech
  • 'Just getting started' in keynote
  • Return-to-office memo leaks
  • Nvidia keynote runs two hours
  • WordPress drama continues
  • Reddit sells more data to AI
  • Vercel raises prices
  • New AI wearable flops
  • 'We take security seriously' email
  • Docker changes licensing again
  • Startup pivots to defense tech
  • AI-generated ad gets backlash
  • 'Gemini' said 100 times at I/O
  • Meta stops saying 'metaverse'
  • Node.js release nobody upgrades to
  • Someone says 'AI-native'
  • CEO says 'vibe coding'
  • Investor asks about moat
  • Kubernetes for a side project
  • New JS framework this week
  • Someone ships on Friday
  • Conference Wi-Fi dies
  • Can everyone see my screen?
  • Demo breaks after one small tweak
  • Server bill 10x overnight
  • Founder posts 'stealth no more'
  • NPM supply chain attack
  • Tim Cook succession rumor resurfaces
  • John Ternus named next Apple CEO
  • Siri revamp slips to 2027
  • Mac mini button still underneath
  • Apple calls it 'the best iPhone yet'

Absolutely not happening

Unless it does, in which case we told you so.

  • Linus Torvalds apologizes politely
  • Zuckerberg deletes Facebook
  • Cloud bill comes in under budget
  • Elon ships on time
  • AWS pricing fits on one screen
  • Developers say they love Jira
  • Internet Explorer returns as AI
  • GPT-6 asks for a union
  • Apple releases a USB hub
  • Google keeps a product alive
  • Bezos becomes a scrum master
  • Meta admits metaverse was a bit
  • Nvidia GPUs in stock at MSRP
  • JavaScript gets a real int type
  • VC funds a profitable company
  • Standup ends early
  • Kubernetes explained in one line
  • Sam Altman takes a vacation
  • Oracle open-sources everything
  • Crypto bro admits it's a casino
  • Windows ships without telemetry
  • AI writes honest postmortem
  • Tim Cook drops iPhone on stage
  • DHH endorses TypeScript
  • Left-pad maintainer knighted
  • Python removes GIL, nothing breaks
  • Recruiter reads your resume
  • Stack Overflow question not closed
  • Excel gains sentience
  • Siri understands you first try
  • COBOL rewritten over a weekend
  • Nadella launches Clippy Pro
  • Optimus files for unemployment
  • Alexa unionizes
  • Datacenter runs on hamster wheels
  • Emacs and Vim merge
  • Bitcoin adds customer support
  • Google I/O held inside a Waymo
  • Meeting replaced by an email
  • Pager silent for a whole quarter
  • CEO admits he doesn't get AI
  • Regex works on first try
  • Marc Andreessen writes short post
  • Ellison buys another island
  • Slack DND actually works
  • Windows drops the Copilot key
  • Duolingo owl runs for Senate
  • Docs finished before launch
  • Y Combinator funds a bakery
  • ChatGPT admits it doesn't know
  • Shopify buys Tailwind
  • DHH goes back to macOS
  • X renames back to Twitter
  • Oracle becomes cool again
  • PM writes the docs
  • AI quits over low pay
  • Siri sues OpenAI for defamation
  • Craig Federighi's hair goes gray
  • Apple buys OpenAI, renames it iAI
  • iPhone Air floats away
  • Apple admits Siri was an intern